Unless someone asks me to do otherwise, I think that this will be my last pre-written post. I am happy to share more about my trip to Poland and more from my journal if someone has the desire to read it. After this, I will start posting more political entries again. This is two different journal entries that are somewhat connected. They are not– at all– meant to give off a holier-than-thou attitude. They are simply meant to convey the way I was feeling at the time. I hope these entries paint a picture of the peculiarity I was experiencing rather than illustrate any sort of criticism or hostility toward my friends.
1. On the bus, just outside of Majdanek.
Human nature is a funny thing. We walk through Majdanek- silence. No one is faking their emotion. The camp evokes feeling beyond literary expression. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. From staff and camper alike. We get to the end. We do a tekes (ceremony). Silence. Emotion chokes back any words. We pray Mincha (the afternoon service). Silence. We get on the bus, and within a few seconds, kids are laughing and chatting, yelling and joking, eating Kit-Kat bars and Oreos. No one is talking about it. No one is processing it. No one is crying, or silent, or dumbfounded. This is bizarre.
2. Outside a mass grave of eight-hundred children.
I wish I could smell the bodies.
No, I’m not sadistic or evil. I just wish that there was something there besides a blue fence surrounding bushes and leaves. It’s so hard to connect. I imagine the kids and I imagine the Nazis. But there’s not something there to help me connect. And now I’m on a bus full of kids. And they’re all screwing around.
I wish they could smell the bodies.