Election Guide

If you think that more minorities belong in jail, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you’ve seen your share of nature and have come to terms with letting the rest of it go, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you think that no one else should benefit from your success, that you and your money are better off in the a secluded bubble of wealth, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you believe those who are different should be sent away, ostracized, or persecuted, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you know which religion is best, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you think that not all Americans have the right to health insurance, if you think that only those who can afford it should have it, and that you are not somewhat responsible for the well being of your neighbor, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you believe that the government doesn’t serve any critical function, or if you feel the deep desire to give up your compensation when you retire, if you have the concrete knowledge that you’ll never lose your job and you’ll never be in need of financial assistance–why bother having welfare?–vote Republican tomorrow.

If poor people are none of your concern and poverty–you’re sure–is a back burner issue, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to love, that the distinctions are clear, that the government should dictate to Americans who they can and can’t love, and  that feelings should be in the hands of Congress, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you believe that corporations shouldn’t be held accountable for deeply destructive environmental policies and financial irresponsibility that has proven detrimental to millions, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you’re under the impression that the subprime mortgage crisis couldn’t have been  prevented by regulation and oversight, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you don’t believe in the American Dream and instead believe that those seeking it should be sent away en masse, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you know that we need more wars, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you believe that Texas oil billionaires need more money, that large companies should be able to fund major political campaigns, vote Republican tomorrow.

If you’re sure that old white men should make decisions about what does or doesn’t happen to bodies of young women, vote Republican tomorrow.

But if you’re interested in a future antithetical to the one just described, you may want to reconsider your vote. I cast my vote for the Democratic Party in 2010.


6 thoughts on “Election Guide

  1. What a brilliant, democratic, caring from the heart commentary!! I wish everyone who will or even won’t vote tomorrow could read it–NOW, and then think about it all night and day until entering the voting booth.

    I am overwhelmed. Thank you, Ami, for expressing my feelings and beliefs.

  2. If you believe that whether or not a person belongs in jail depends on their race, vote Democrat.
    If you believe that nature is only for looking at, vote Democrat.
    If you think someone should get money regardless of how hard they work for it or how good they are, vote Democrat.
    If you believe those who are different should be sent away, ostracized, or persecuted, vote Democrat.
    If you think you have the right to tell others that their religion is wrong, vote Democrat
    If you think that each person, regardless of their health needs or desires, should pay the same premium on someone else’s tab, vote Democrat.
    If you believe that welfare is meant to replace your job instead of keep you alive while you look for a job, vote Democrat.
    If you believe that because gays are sometimes wrongly persecuted that they should be treated specially, vote Democrat.
    If you believe that government should subsidize otherwise unprofitable and destructive ventures, vote Democrat.
    If you’re under the impression that subsidizing mortgages for people with low PIMCO scores and then blaming it on the companies that you paid to do it is financially responsible for now and for our children, vote Democrat.
    If you know that we shouldn’t start what we finish, vote Democrat.
    If you believe in the American Dream and think that those who cheat and come in to the country in complete disrespect to those who work hard to come in the fair way, vote Democrat.
    If you’re for hating an industry that is currently necessary but want to fund them in a way that costs you more than just paying for the unsubsidized gas because it makes it look cheaper and ignore that they are the single biggest investors in alternative energy in absolute terms, vote Democrat.
    If you’re sure that self-guilty rich white men should shame people who don’t want to have abortions, vote Democrat.
    But if you’re for voting for the people who will do what is right, and don’t want to make gross generalizations, ignore party lines and vote for a centrist.

  3. Evan — I actually don’t even understand what you mean by some of these comments. While I get that you are spoofing Ami’s blog post, and making the point that his post was highly partisan (and it’s a good point), what you say about Democrats here just isn’t true.

    Eg: who are the self-guilty rich white men who are shaming women who don’t want to have abortions? What are you talking about? Liberals support a woman’s right to choose — they don’t shame anyone into anything. It’s not about shame. It’s about defending a woman’s right to choose what she’ll do with her body. It’s about allowing a choice, not the opposite.

    Eg: liberals don’t think that because gays (or, women, or, people of color….etc) have been persecuted, they should be “treated special”. Wrong again. Gays deserve the same rights as non-gays. And that includes the right to get married, have their marriages legally acknowledged, and enjoy the legal benefits of marriage.

    Again, I agree that Ami’s earlier post was turning up the volume way too much. But why did you choose to go down that road? Didn’t make sense.

  4. Evan, your response is ignorant, incoherent and pretentious.

    Ami, I appreciate your point of view. You are a very articulate young man, you will go very far.

  5. Sir, this is a terribly terrible, yes i said that, hunk of poo-poo garbage. You accuse all republicans of “hating minorities”, well its not so. The reason many of us have this perception is because that minorities bring upon us. How’s this catch phrase for you “If you hate paying for non citizens to go to school vote republican”

  6. Neshama: Some of it reflects my own experiences. A friend of mine didn’t want to get an abortion when she thought that she was pregnant (she wasn’t) and the likely perpetrator tried to shame her into an abortion, while I have also heard of (admittedly, from my parents) people going to religious women and saying that “it’s OK, you can have an abortion.” Although now that I think about it, it would have been better to have said “If you believe that a life has no value just because of a disorder, vote Democrat.” That is based off of some of my friends saying they would abort a baby with Down’s Syndrome. I think you should be able to have an abortion for that reason, but as you said, I was parodying Ami’s post.
    And the “gays being treated specially” thing is absolutely a real trend. Some of my behaviors have been considered weird BY GAYS because “it’s a gay thing” and, if gays want to be treated the same, why do they have their own “gay PRIDE” flag? This is one of the few things that I’ve noticed is deeply entrenched along party lines. My only gay friends who do not fit this stereotype are Republicans. I’ve noticed this is a trend with any minority that has been treated poorly. There is an assumption that because they were unfairly hurt in the past, coddling them now will make up for it. It doesn’t and sends a bad message, both that because they are a minority they don’t need to work to beat out a white and that messages of equality mean nothing if it isn’t politically convenient.
    Janet: You’re pretentious. Read neshama’s post, he/she got what I was trying to do, and read the last sentence of my post. I am an EBRR: Embarrassed But Resolute Republican, so I can understand why Ami and, clearly, you oppose some of my parties actions. I think the way that we have responded to some social issues is unacceptable. However, your party has responded in a different way but equally unacceptable way, not only trying to equalize the playing field but outright favoring minorities simply for their race, which does not neutralize anything but just makes you racist, too. Two negatives do not make a positive, they make two negatives. It’s basic math. -1+(-1)=-2, not 0.

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